I am from

DSCN5322_1, originally uploaded by lilylord.

Inspired by "Fragments From Floyd" blog

I am from that smell of penguin paperbacks that tops my list of most favorite smells to this day. I'm from pink Izod shirts and messy pastel crayons.

I am from the artistic, bohemian, strict and full of creative energy house that was stuffed full of cats, dogs, frogs, antiques and books that sometimes tumbled into a backyard, and later porch that overlooked the Cascades. A house with plenty of rules and limitations but also freedom to roam the woods and explore nature by one's self.

I am from the tiny, sweeter than you can imagine, strawberries that flourished in the backyard - the one's that slugs would devour and leave half eaten, hanging from the plant. I'm from massive, juicy blueberries picked from the "bush" that was over seven feet high.

I am from family that always seemed to be at work and was often full of conflict and tears. From the house that never seemed to get clean and was jammed full of music, cooking and play. From Brigitte and Don and Michelle, Max and Marcie. And from waking up in the morning with Roxy, Tibby, Purdy, Xavier, and Junior piled on top of me, a warm mess of dogs and cats.

I am from the never-to-fit-in and filled-with-sadness lot. From the filled-with-wonder at the strange, weird, and truly odd things of the world, because-I-can-identify lot. I am from trips to the library and conversations with strangers on the bus smiling at the pretty young woman with her children.

I'm from "if everyone leapt off of the cliff would you?," and "society is full of garbage" to the "look at the wonderful sunset" and the "you are so very talented" comments. I am from deep suspicion yet bursting with wonder. I was enrolled in art and dance classes. My dad cried when I won a national award for illustration.

I am from the doctrine that organized religion has caused an incredible amount of pain and suffering, specifically to women. I am from the voices that said that karma is real and each one of us should follow the Golden Rule or be doomed to their own personal hell.

I'm from Ulm, Germany, of Northern European mutt stock. "Heinz 57" my dad would say so often, I got genuinely confused as to my "real" heritage. Swedish, French, Norwegian, Irish, Scottish, English and lord knows what else. Skin that burns easily, blue eyes that are plagued by "ocular albinism", blond hair, and a turned up nose. I'm from homemade spaetzle and sauerkraut, fresh fish and garden veggies dripping with butter. I am from midnight family trips to the 24-hour gocery store for ice cream "just because".

From the man who had an amazing life of adventure before me, globe trotting and skiing the world, yet never mentioned it. Who drank too much and got sad. A successful entrepreneur who drove me to school everyday for two years. Who I don't remember as being angry or mean, ever. Who had a two pack a day Benson and Hedges habit. Who quit all the bad stuff "cold turkey" and was diagnosed with cancer a year or so after. Who wanted to lecture school children on the dangers of smoking when he got better, but never had the chance. Who sought out interesting, unusual music and played the accordion. From the woman who had a few terribly sad stories to tell about growing up, and filled my bookshelves with amazing books about Harriet Tubman and Jules Vern, and others by Jack London, Charlotte Bronte, Victor Franke and C.S. Lewis. Who could be silly in the best way. Who loves animals and nature with an intense, fiery passion and played the guitar. Who could draw the funniest doodles. Who took the time to create a creative environment that supported our interests. Old fix-it automobiles in the driveway. A horse Ben, a barn.

I am from the antiques found from weekend trips puttering around old antique stores, from the empty bottles of wine I found hidden in my hamper, and from the expansive collection of records from David Bowie to Pearls Before Swine that I was allowed to play by myself. From the four car garage, with the Jaguar, Rover and Cadillac. I am from an expat European/American sensibility. I am lucky to be me.